ThisCowIsPurple.com

The Question

I have found myself wondering this a couple of times the past few months. What does it usually indicate when a Christian starts to shrink away from others and try and isolate themselves purposefully, not to seek God or some other good reason like quieting down but just feels like shunning other people to be alone? Does it have something to do with their relationship with God?

The Symptoms

For me, it is accompanied by a loss of peace, lack of quiet moments with God and a total loss of interest in sharing the Gospel. Encouraging others goes out the window and so does the temper and patience. Grace suddenly vanishes from the vocabulary and is replaced with resentment in varying amounts. Some calm moments exist when I wonder about whats wrong with me but it quickly goes away and there is no time for conviction. Occasionally I squeeze out a kind face, some smiles and gentle words for people closer but still, nothing has really changed. Searching for answers is fruitless and frustrating and the difference between and genuine and non-genuine thoughts and feelings become less obvious. Service is something I wanna skip because I know I’m just wasting time serving in the flesh. In short I can safely say that in this state I have no fruit of the spirit, no love, no beattitudes. The flesh pwns.

The disease

*two weeks later* I still am clueless as to what the problem is. Perhaps it is un-surrender, perhaps it is a ignorance to my fleshly state and perhaps it is simply a lack of the basics of the Christian life which is praying and reading the bible. Whatever the case(s) it is a place where I don’t want to be, a disease I do not wish to submit myself to be aflicted by. Perhaps, this section is completely unimportant when compared to the next.

The Cure.

The cure for me was simply “looking unto Jesus”. So what do I mean in a practical sense? I stopped looking at myself and trying to figure out what was wrong. I submitted myself to his word and commands that are explicitly known. I made the choice to seek and was rewarded with finding. I made a choice and God saw it through. I didn’t get out because I was faithful, I got out of my mess because God was faithful.

All in all the past month has been a walk in the wilderness. I’m still not perfectly sorted out but I’m learning to rest in him. I hope this post will be a standing stone and a reminder to myself how great God’s faithfulness is.

As for anyone else who’s been wandering I hope you get things sorted out!

This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 2:41 am and is filed under Sharing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.