I need the peace to quit. I know I won’t get it but I think its my turn to give up and take a rest. I wish I could pity myself, tell myself I deserve it or just be escapist, let myself be and remain inert, indifferent, uninterested. Finally after so long in the cooker and telling people they belong there since God has in a manner allowed this to happen.. I think I’ll quit being in the cooker. I still believe it but have no will to carry on. Maybe I have been grossly mistaken about that and the cooker isn’t the only place to be. Don’t talk to me anymore. Anyone. I am not interested and refuse to be anymore. I am going to pretend nothing is happening. Its just saddening. There is no crusade for truth here. Just mere men in their flesh on every side.
I will not be.. discouraged from my own walk and maybe for a while, I’d like like to take the hand of my precious Lord, walk with him and cry to him. Listen to him and talk with him. Perhaps when he straightens me out, then I’ll be ready to face men again.