Lunch with Bernice
T’was quick.. the chicken rice chilli was still as deadly as ever, except that it took quite alot of it before I even felt the hotness. The aunty tell me if I didn’t think it was hot I very “li hai”.. haha.. which led me to realised the chilli hadn’t changed.. it was just my tolerance was even higher now.
Walked around the school to look at the changes and new things while I waited for her to be done with students and work. It felt so sterile and cold. Even worse were the teachers and HOD ppl who kept asking me who I was cos I refused to wear the stupid visitors pass thing. I also specially picked out the most shabby presentable clothes to go back in matched with my faithful $2 slippers from the 1.99 shop so long ago because I was feeling abit anti-establishment.
In line with my current thoughts about what I should do with my life, I now think that teaching is getting more and more irksome and unpalatable as a job and as a lifestyle. While the fun of teaching and interacting with students used to outweigh the not so great parts of teaching, Its beginning to tip the other way now. The social environment, being required to fall in line, being politically correct amongst staff - esp superiors just portrays an extremely oppressive environment to work in for me. She was telling me during the debriefing for their practicum they were told there were a few things that they didn’t do so well and among that was “not greeting HODs”. I was like.. “what?? GREET FOR WHAT?” hahaha.. sigh.. why are some people’s ego so fragile.. never greet also will feel sad one. I was talking at the corridor on the way to her dungeon room for practicum techers during recess time and this teacher gave me this deathstare. Haha.. Sigh.. bernice said I was loud.. as I always am. Haha.. sigh. She told me about this teacher that used to be very passionate while we were there. Now she quite visibly doesn’t care at all. Thats about 10 years? hmmm.. weird la. Ppl get jaded so quick.
Of course, as I think about all this I still wonder what God wants for me. I’d like an irreverent working environment skinny on heirachy where I can enjoy my collegues as friends and not just tools to advance my career. Work is fun because of friends.. without friends at work I’d just die. Sigh..
Shall get some overdue wotk done now. I never ceased to be amazed by Singaporean webhosts. Their sloppiness and slowness to upgrade amazes me. I’m not talking about cutting edge, I’m talking about 30 updates ago - released 3 years and 2 months ago in 2005. Sigh. I have to work with this crap.