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I decided to start on a book today. “The Normal Christian Life” by Watchman Nee. I decided today that I should fill my time and mind with these things and force myself to read books. I did  up a progress bar too! haha.. quite nice to motivate myself. Also, I had alot of time to do thinking after service. Actually the hall is pretty quiet after everyone leaves. Oh well, I’m tired.. had supper twice.. with JC Classmates, Joann and Daniel when I came back. I’m getting fatter! sigh. Like really quite bad. Shall go exercise soon la.. once school start and a schedule forms.

Nvm, changed my mind..

430am and I’m up cos I’m really quite sian. I don’t know what to say. Of course there are a few reasons. The toshiba died along with so much of my effort, theres still yx going away and also the nagging thought that if this is it, I don’t want it, and if I don’t want it, then.. what is my life about? Ha.. after I pose that question then the last cantata comes to mind but thats to simplistic an answer. There must be something I’m missing out. If not. Wah man.. I really don’t want it.

I think I killed the toshiba through no fault of mine. The hdd refuses to spin up when I switched it on just now. Sigh.. $14 for the nice shiny fan (thankfully not more) and many hours later.. all my effort is gone. This one was 800MHz and pretty great to use, its kinda tragic. I hope when I get up tomorrow it suddenly decides to work again. Argh… quite gek la.

I’m actually using a floppy drive!! those things only 1.44mb one! haha.. Oh man! takes me back. Anyway the furthest I can remember is using the 5  1/4 inch ones. Those were old man. Need them for updating the bios on my sister’s stripped down toshiba. If after this it can boot from thumbdrive I’ll be a happy man! haha..

I suddenly think I know why this feels so weird. I was thinking.. my life and behaviour hasn’t degraded much over the last few weeks, why am I suddenly feeling like I’m living in the valleys? I think.. I have seen the high road and boy is it high… this leads to feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy.

“If the Christian life is a burden to you, you’re living it in the flesh.” is what was said. “True.. true..” I thought but when I actually did live out that phrase its truth takes on a whole new dimension of true. Like, impossible true. True beyond what you can imagine but thats the whole point isn’t it? its impossible. How convenient!

I’m tired, its been a super long day. Got my laptop back, picked up some photos for my sister and went all the way to olympus service center without servicing the camera again. Oh man..  I’m so wishy washy, can’t decide to keep the C5050 or to just let it go.. I tried the canon G9 and the canon S5 IS. The G9 is like.. WHOA.. but at a cost of $820. The S5 is like.. lets just say after playing with the G9 the S5 is so much lesser of a camera even with double the zoom and quite a few similar functions at $630, totally not worth it. I’m still hankering for the G9 but as I took the train home and watched “Bridge to Terabithia” on my sister’s ipod (I put it there.. didn’t know what it was but now I think its a really nice show) I decided that this wasn’t such a super ultra important part of my life and I didn’t need these things. Tons of people in church and stuff with budget constraints who live with less came to mind. Though I have spare cash.. I guess I’ll just let william pay for this one (he dropped it in japan) and live with the c-5050 for as long as it will allow me to use it. Its service history is quite funny.

1. First servicing by me.. Dropped it while balancing it on the dummy plan in tamworth australia read the surrounding posts, they’re quite humourous. Lens got stuck in the out position.
2. Brother was using when the mode dial broke. It fell off by itself.
3. Ismet(bro’s friend) dropped it in norway, camera cannot focus, changed lens
4. William(my friend) dropped it in japan, camera cannot focus, changing lens

Haha..So there you go. The illustrious history of my camera. The lens changed a total of 3 times! haha.. I really really am very attached to it. Quite sian when William say it spoilt but he feel so guilty already so I never disturb him and was pretty laughy-ish about it.. I’ll just bill him. Shall drop by the service center next week before wednesday again. When I get quite serious about this I think I’ll be getting something from the canon G series. Perhaps second hand or older one cos then it’ll be cheaper. Who needs anything more than 12 megapixels???

Oh well, off to bed I go.

I gutted my sister’s old Old OLD toshiba laptop and am blogging from it now. Check it out.

Going to fashion a nice case for it and stuff it in. Its so small and quiet and slim. heh. Think it’ll do as a nice portable desktop type. After I’m done with this, the old church IBM left there by kim is next.

If you think I’m kinda silly to stay up until 0443 to do this.. I’m really actually doing some reflection. I guess.. this just helps me stay awake.

edit: Managed to remove all plastic. Wooo.. its totally bare now.

Heard this sermon while at the netcasters course today. I din really want to go but I must say after I sat around a while I concluded I had nothing better to do and the next most logical thing to do if I wanted to meet with God was to go for netcasters.

Essentially, this sermon gives good indicators of whether you’re fueled by the flesh or running on empty and depending on the spirit to give you strength. The spirit gives life, the letter of the law kills. Our best flesh is displeasing to God and
how the flesh profits nothing! Give it a good listen friends.

Lastly, as they go for street E I’m left wondering when will my first time be. Plans to go always get thwarted. I have this feeling after I say this a situation will present itself where I will honestly have no excuse soon and have to make my choice. Why do I want to go when I feel I’m still operating in the flesh and it would profit nothing to go? What does it feel like to be operating in the spirit? I’m not burnt out, I’m not tired. I don’t want to go and just go there to work in my flesh. Can we even do street evangelism in the flesh? I think its possible. Also.. I’ve been thinking about this evangelism thing abit more than I always have and wonder if there’s a bigger picture I’m missing. Like edification of the saints and stuff. I don’t think our lives are meant to be so compartmentalized until like this. What about missing brethren? Are we supposed to seek them out? hmm.. I can’t really think much now. Don’t want to do so. Later go home search the bible.

 

 Mega Grace - John R. Vangeldren [55:49m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (11)

God has been good to me. Honestly I never thought I’d make it without failing anything. I don’t know what to make of it. My cap is still in the red, but it didn’t shift at all.. up or down. I actually passed EE2011! like.. wah man.. Thats impossible.

Name : KWAN YANN HOWE
Matric No : U058802B

2007/2008 Sem 1 Examination for COMPUTER ENGINEERING 2

CAP: 1.85
(CAP computed is accurate based on progress & declaration made as at time of printing.)

Presenting… My sister’s Flickr!