Well, I came across this blog in my travels around…
Well, I came across this blog in my travels around the net and realised he lives in the same residence as me. He’s a fit guy, tanned, still around in NUS but probably not staying in the same room anymore. Judging by the pictures, he lives at one of the rooms I walk past on my way to the shower just last sem. Not too sure about now though. Anyway, he blogged in memory of his dear friend who passed away I guess. There was a photocollage but i think thats too much. Here is what he wrote:
It’s strange this friendship I have with Lena. She’s this wonderful girl who has never failed to bring a smile to my face. I know with her I don’t have any inhibitions. I can be myself, and she can be wonderfully her. But the dynamics of this friendship is kinda peculiar, in my opinion, as I will list down.
1. She doesn’t expect anything out of me, she has never once asked me to do anything or wanted anything from this friendship that we have.
2. We can not meet for the entire holidays but still revert to how close we were during our academic semesters.
3. We never had any heated arguments or quarrels that led to us having any cold wars or whatnot.
4. She has never been displeased with whatever I’ve done, maybe just shaking her head a lil and just smiling back at me. (Is she disapproving but very tolerant?)
5. We can make the greatest plans for our holidays and carry them out, the funkiest outings and have a ball of a time, yet not feel that we’ve left each other out whenever we’re not with the other party. (e.g. when I’m not studying with her and with my other friends, likewise when she has her ktv sessions with her hall friends)
How does this work, being such great friends, yet not demanding anything out of the other? I revel in Lena’s company and I feel that she does in mine. Are we not beyond a certain level of a friendship, have we not gone to the next level? Or is that Lena’s way of keeping our friendship in check? I enjoy the way this friendship works in any case. Me asking her out, her asking me out. It’s so simple. It’s so nice. Hanging out. Liking one another for what they are. Maybe that’s cuz there’s little to dislike about Lena, she’s too perfect.
It’s this charm that keeps me drawn to Lena. Her ever endearing persona. Her bubbly and cheerful disposition. I figure she may be like me, the kind who don’t shed their emotion easily. She’s strong. I’ve seen her when she’s fragile, but I know that she’s strong.
Ask me how do I know? That whatever I’ve said might be just my own interpretation? True, it might be. But, I guess some things are immeasurable. I’ve known her for close to 18 months. Time might not be a factor, but you can roughly gauge a person’s demeanour well enough with experience. On the other hand, you think you know someone, but …. you know the rest of the story.
Keep it simple
J
Me and Lena might be applying for this student program called “Travel USA”. (Although there’s Europe too) Basically, us kids will pay for our air tickets to go abroad to study for a period of time, 3 months? Yea, that’s supposed to earn us back the tickets and give us some allowance for spending. Though I doubt it’ll be enough. It’ll be quite a nifty graduation trip, if we get selected that is. I’m not sure if my mom will be supportive of this idea though, my brief 1 mth trip in USA got her sobbing over the webcam.
I’ve been cooking a lot with Lena in my OKR pantry. It’s amazing how long one can take to prepare food just for cooking. You’d be amazed at what we can dish up though. If I have the time, I’ll post the pictures of the food we’ve cooked so far. And so far, the only bad thing abt our food is that it’s saltier than normal. We haven’t cooked something that makes us cringe and want to throw it away yet. Haha.
A friend yesterday asked why I attend lectures alone nowadays. Yea, this sem is the first one where I go to most of my life science lectures alone. Somehow, I find it rather therapeutic to sit alone during a lecture. I’m more focused, I feel. And less dependent on my friends for their lab reports, assignments and whatnot. This forces me to do the stuff alone, which is really good so far. I could join my other friends, but something inexplicable just keeps me away. Heh. Some things you just can’t explain.
Lena’s been really good company. Gym, jogging, class, cooking, it’s like back to good ol’ days in Sheares. (Less the raving gossips abt us) She said something once that I felt was the truth, she said, “No one treats you better than I do”. A casual remark it was, but truthful it is. I appreciate her for being there for me all the time. I do try to do the same, but somehow I don’t feel that I can give more than she can. Perhaps that’s always the case. There can’t be a balance in such things. That one will always give more than the other. Just as long as I don’t take her for granted.
Ok, that is all for now. Doubt anyone’s reading already. Haha. Ciao now.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
A cancer that won’t quit.
Her legs are arched, her limbs swollen with water
Her right hand flimsy, yet beating with anger
Her tears are incessant, her cries are soft
Her pain, she pleads, her pain, she howls
Her eyes she shut, her prayers to Him
“Please Lord, please, take me away”
Her teeth clasped shut, her lips in prayer
For You to embrace her, to be with You forever
If there were a God, please release her
Her prayers are not for naught, her sins I know of none
Her pain is inhuman, her pain You can heal
Her darkest hour, her lips still locked in prayer
Her trust in You, her faith will not waver
Pls deliver her from her pain, or make a miracle happen.
She doesn’t deserve to go through such suffering.
Friday, June 09, 2006
mistake.
God, You took the wrong person away.
I miss you.
Yea. I’m surprised myself. Never thought I was capable of such emotions. But the bond between us was so strong. I’ve never thought so. I’ve always felt that friends who don’t quarrel have issues. They probably don’t know each other well enough, or have the guts to speak up to something they don’t like about each other. We must have liked each other a lot. There was never a dull day. There was never a single argument that led to unhappiness. I have never felt like I’m obligated to do anything for you, cuz all I did, was of my own accord and I wholeheartedly wanted to do it. To raise that cheek of yours, to see that glimmer in your eyes whenever you get a surprise.
Our exchanges were never equal. I never felt that I’ve done enough for you than you have for me. Be it material or emotional expressions, I’ve never felt on par with what you can offer. But it’s not about measuring who gives more isn’t it? It is. I’m constantly aware of it. If I could ever make it up to you. Just to have you speak to me again. It’s impossible I know. You were the best I had. I just didn’t know it.
We saw each other almost everyday. Never dreaded a moment of it. It’s true that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. But I’m glad you gave me the chance to experience what life is all about. Even if it is short-lived.
I have not felt it for the longest time.
And that ends his musings over the matter. Was just thinking how similar his life is to mine and how we’re all young and energetic and free. Hmm.. I guess its not really easy to swallow when someone young passes away. Especially when that person is such a close friend. SO.. moral of the story is to better not take your friends for-granted.