ThisCowIsPurple.com

A newly formed personal site found here with 7 models up in the gallery (as of now). My personal favourite is the SD Z’Gok. Check it out!

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In-progress Updated!

I’m done reviewing my toolbox, check it out here. I’ve since added in some stuff here and there. Will come around to taking some pictures of them and adding them in.

I was just listening to “to the praise of his glorious grace” from “A quiet heart” and realise the Violin interlude starting at 2:10 sound so anime-soundtrack-ish and super sentimental. Of course, I would have to listen to alot of anime soundtracks to know that but putting that aside because it is SO in the past, man.. It sounds so celtic also with the penny whistle and all with the grace notes here and there. Still got a guitar to accompany to complete the usual celtic arrangement. Oh well.

I like “make my life an alleluia” though and “in my weakness” too although the latter is abit overboard with the syncopation, its something i need to know. To pray for less of my strength and for more of God’s strength.

I was just reading “we would see Jesus” and in it was something like this.

Alot of times we focus on serving God instead of seeing him in his holiness and recognizing we are unable to serve him. New methods, better ways to bring in the masses, getting higher up to influence people, gathering more “proof” for our Gods existence. While these look noble, they must never overshadow the need to be holy and know God personally. It sometimes is seen as selfish to devote more timje to personal growth instead of serving others but how many of us serve without looking at our spiritual condition? Whats the point of giving the sacrifice of service without the very basic fundamental obedience to his commandments?

Another thing was how grace is not some magic power bestowed on us when we ask, it is an attribute of God, and it only is when we do not add works to it. With our own work, grace ceases to be grace. I think i have to read the first 20 pages again. I forgot most of it already. I wonder when i’l be able to give it away. haha..

Trust Him

Trust Him when your soul is burdened
with the weight of all its sin.
He will speak the words of pardon,
He will make you clean within.
Trust Him when dark doubts assail you.
Trust Him when your strength is small.
Trust Him, when to simply trust Him seems the hardest thing of all.
Trust in God.

Trust Him for the ”grace sufficient”
ever equal to your need;
Trust Him always for the answer,
when in Jesus’ name you plead.
Trust Him when your cares are many.
Trust Him when your friends are few.
And the time of much temptation is the time to trust Him too.
Trust in God.

Trust Him! He is ever faithful!
Trust Him for His will is best!
Trust Him for the heart of Jesus is the only place of rest
Trust Him through the cloud or sunshine,
all your cares upon Him cast;
Till the storm of life is over,
and the trusting days are past.

Put your trust in God.

Well, i think i’m the dunno how-many-eth person to put it up for a different reason. Anyway I’m halfway arranging it for the wedding. I’ve listened to it so many times already.

Anyway this is my 190th post! In 3 years. I feel like that “footprints” person. Its so nice to look back at your life and see God working in each phase of struggle. Well I’m off to meet Ying Chiang. Haha.. been so long since I’ve seen her.

John 14

27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I know some of you will come around here and read this so i’ll just say: The atmosphere was so thick during discussion that i can feel the words and thoughts suffocating me. It felt like my brain was being compressed and kneaded like dough with every observation and new point brought up. A discussion i felt had occured roughly 9894 times also came up again. It got to a point where i felt very irritated and fed up already with the atmosphere and place. Not knowing why i feel like this, i cannot really explain myself when i do not want to show up or when i want to leave early. I dont like being coerced into going as if that is the only place on earth i should have been and made to feel like nothing else in my life is more important than spending 3 whole days there. I AM free. I AM zhuo bo. What can anyone do about it? I’m not disputing the value of going there or the decision to call for it. I’ve got nothing better to do (in some of your gracious opinions) and i’m not making excuses nor do i need one. I just want to be somewhere else(ie. anywhere). Thanks for understanding.

Away from that, i feel like i’ve been re-making friends recently. Learning to be friendly and taking the effort to know another person for no particular reason is very difficult. For a mind like mine, i cannot understand or quantify relationships into a meaningful set of behaviours and actions toward each other. It just seems to happen to others more than me. Obviously it can only be something on my side but i cannot figure it out. Maybe if i don’t think it’ll just come by itself.

I’m feeling very troubled these few days for no particular reason at all. And because of that I feel that I’ve been quite compliant and non-agressive. An overcompensation for anything i’m feeling. Wah, i’ve not felt this kinda dark feeling for very long. Its just a weight, a burden like that. Just that theres no reason which makes it even harder to bear. Not even knowing whats bothering me. This feeeling doesn’t grow on me, its eating me. I’ve got to go wash up. I need peace in my heart. I don’t know whats going on. Its just a burst of melencholy. Remember me when you pray okay?