ThisCowIsPurple.com

Hmmm.. get to use the normal computer now. And it has MSN! haha.. well well… But its little late. Now i’m abit more chatty so i’ll talk about tomolo.

morning

-wake up go for parade

-lesson

-lunch

afternoon

-draw arms

-lesson

-manhandling ex - push that #@!#&* thing 4km and clear some obstacles.

-dinner

evening

-stay in camp and rot in mess cos they dun let us out

I’ll be outfield on friday. Finally got some action. The spike commanders just had some defense exercise, dig and dig and dig for 5 hrs. Poor things.. but at least they’re back in the same day. haha.. We all vehicle bound, so shiok.

Been eating too much fries. If i could put pictures up that would be nice… shld find some mms phlogging thing. I’m sure it exists. looks like mess is closing. Beer here is 1.60 a mug… haha.. compared to air force sch is so ex, can get a mug for 40c more over there. Oh well, dun matter to me much lah, jut see ppl throw money away there. I think i’ll be heading back to sleep now. Bunk’s not too far away luckily.

zzz

stupid mess computers kena virus and all, make me lose all i type just now. Crap… anyway, this is the first time i get to use to mess’s computers. And this one seems to be virus loaded, keep closing the window i’m typing in… doh. Well, dowan to type much… heh.

weekend draws near…

Hmmm… I’m being made out to be a fool and escapist. I think this is what church splits are made of. Well, so be it… Its sort of a spliting headache to me now cos the only 2 hrs i can be at rest is being spent here. Well, finally had it eh? i think overdue loh.. but better late than never i’d say.

I’m back here cos i forgot lotsa stuff… nvr bring civillian clothing, din bring beret, din bring jockey cap, din bring alot of stuff lah. Sigh.. and the course is not slack at all, not many nights to get out and relax… worse is there arn’t many ppl in the west to meet up with since university having holidays… they have freshmen camp though, but doubt anyone’s free enough to come meet me. I’m having the super stress headache and smoke want again, cannot hide it man… *ouch* i think i’d just be babbling rubbish here that dun mean a thing. I’m really going to explode again. Well, its hurting alot… arrrrrrrrrr… if i had more hair i’d pull it out… okay, no.. i dowan to end up with a bleeding scalp. Aiiiiiiiiiiyoh aaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyoh aiiii aiii oooo ah…. lame army song.

Well, that was the last straw i guess. pls dun be a lamer and come running back to me. Go read so-and-so’s blog… “don’t want you back”

I feel so freeeeeeeeee!!!! heh… Well, i still have lots on my to-do list, and even more on my not-to-do list. Well, just had incredible revelations these 2 or 3 days. I think my mind is expanding and becoming free, even more acute and sharper than ever, dull to things that are of no use. And i love my friends. How come everyone here is feeling loved? ahha.. Dun take my harshness as loathing, think you need loh. And yes, the irritating part is true. hope not to hear from you soon.

Hmmm… As ppl are starting sch tomoloo… poorthings… take care you all, sch is the best part of life loh. As you grow up you’ll see that all your probs were so insignificant and tiny and exams were the smallest thing you had to worry about in your life. See so many ppl got family prob, life and death prob, health prob, haha… makes your own life look like poppy cock.. so cannot complain.

I do have to get to camp at 0730 tomolo morn so i absolutely have to get up. I have so many bottled up things to say to ppl, some good some bad.

Promises must be kept. Rememeber that.

10min after I said, the want is back! hahaha… sigh. What humans we are.

Today i found out who i’ll be spending my entire reservist with already! haha… 13 long years with the same crappy guys. The mortar is obscenely heavy, even on wheels! Sigh… i think we’re gonna have a tough time. Heard of the exercise to push/pull it 8k… ridiculous. Well, at least theres only a 3 day exercise thats all! Other than that, the whole course is spent on lectures and mortar drills. Got 20 over ah! Siao liao… But we keep getting congradulated on getting this… really loh! Everyone is like… “congrats gentlemen, you manage to get this vocation…blahblah.. cos its vehicle bound.” hahaha… so i guess its really a blessing. Sigh.. although the day was spent waiting and waiting and waiting around, i guess its worth it. Not complaining.

Well, ended today with dinner at airport. Don’t see the big fuss over anything, sigh… i just hate this. I mean, i know i’ve been spending the whole week out… or not with my family. But can’t i have a break? just do what i want? Its not as if all the time i do this… must have spent more than a hundred on food this and last week. All the canteen breaks, dinners… blah. I cannot be bothered so don’t bother me. I think i’m being inherently unstable these few days, but i know i’m fine. I just dun feel fine, somethings wrong again. I dun like this feeling inside, like somethign bad’s gonna happen. Somehow i just feel very strongly i need all my friends’s support, and just not stick aorund at home. ARGH! the frustration is not as high as the last time… but yeah, can feel it in my chest. I wish i could revert to my ‘island’ state, but the strength is not there anymore. I need to disappear! be gone. But thats not up to me, i’ll just have to live on.

Other than all that, THe want is gone. I feel like i’ve been reformed… but i feel worse than before. This is wrong. Somethign is wrong, i just dunno what it is.

“In the morning joy shall come..”

lets hope morning comes soon.

alone at home again… so sian… family went to johor to shop around. Just looking forward to tonight very much! heh.. then tomolo go course already… blah

I’m to tired to blog. So… yeah, this is it.

Back after 51hrs and 39mins. Had a whole day to myself in camp… spent sometime reading a book ben passed to me long time ago. Pastor mike wrote it, and its so… uh.. him! ha.. almost can feel it coming out from his mouth with all his illustrations also. Some of them got hear before even… if theres anything gotten or noticed from these 2 days, is..

1)I am accepted but not integrated with my collegues

2)More impt than not doing something, is not wanting to do it

uh… huh… so, i’ll leave you to figure that out. heh.

Other than read, i finished my gundam.. just that its a botched job! blah… then played xbox at night, mech assault.. its really fun and once you start you can’t stop kind of thing. Played and played with my fren who’s the reason for #1, today he ask me go for run.. hahha… so weird but… yeah, i think i need to, just really lazy. Ate bread the whole day.. which would make that.. 8 slices with peanut butter and strawberry jam. Its cos we got nothing to do lah… argh! Sitting there makes my mouth itchy.. then i just make bread to eat to pass the time. Nobody was able to take the day off or wad… had to stay in until about 5 when the warrants book out already. So dumb. My total work done today was - Drill 3 holes in 3 diff cupboards and rivet the broken latches. Doh.. took us like… 30min? Then after OC’s inspection we ate lunch. Tape up a frayed rope they use t practise their climbing methods, then go office sleep until 5. haha… sounds so ‘busy’ man.

Now i’ll go and eat dinner… Hmmm.. i think i’m going to be missing from church for another week. haha… but i hope can give some excuses and all. Have to go to mandai camp on friday with all my stuff! blah…

TBC

Okay, the neat freak turned out to be not so bad after all.. he’s just.. a neat freak. And i hate it when ppl talk behind your back. Stinks. Anyway, i have duty on sunday.. a good 2 week break from church already. Next week gonna have to report to mandai camp first on friday.. then move to pasir lebar on monday. Wonderful! can finally leave leopard for 1 month and have a break learning something new. Here’s a picture and desciption of a mortar for the un-informed. Luckily… its vehicle towed! haha… Means i’m really just doing calculations when outfield. Think its quite stressful… i mean, later fire on friendlies! aaaaa… not so good ahhhh. hhahaahha…

Well, my tagboard has taken quite a well deserved break. Its gonna be back soon… just exerting some kind of control over it. Heh… Congrats to all school kids, only 1 week left then back to sch!! => So fun… but of course no more playing and all, funny is how i always felt my holidays were much much more busy that sch days! and holidays were so tiring and activity packed… sch days were a rest for me. Hmp… its already 1am and i need to get up so i can reach tekong on time for duty.. sigh. only 5hrs of sleep. think i’m not gonna be able to get up! haha.. but i must. Gonna be filling up the seams in the legs of the gundam tomolo… the arms look fine and smooth with no trace of seams now. then sprayed it in the afternoon… heh… its not too fantastic yet leh, but its my first so i guess its acceptable. Prob go get a big one after a few more smaller ones for practise. Dunnoe where all my old ones went so i cannot use those. Bah.. if they were thrown away it would have been a royal waste… Well, i wun wait around already… gonna just go off and sleep after packing up.

TToday’s a fine day. Man… one instructor came back from being attached out today. HE’S A STOOPID NEAT FREAK!!! he practically threw wadever was not his on MY table (cos beside wad)… and kept bugging me to clean up MY table. And whatever common areas he thought was not neat he just CHANGED to his liking. Moved MY fan away to somewhere else cos he din like, moved MY webbing and stuff to another place so the office look neater. MY stretcher/bed is in jeopardy also ah!! wah lau.. i’ll kill him if he packs it up loh. Then he 5 more month ORD already… so i’m hoping he go quick so i can do wad i want. So irritating. He’s abit niang niang qiang also… takes care of his skin like dunnoe wad and does aromatherapy stuff also… blah… cannot believe he’s an instructor. Wonder what happens when he goes outfield.

After a sleepy afternoon, i booked out to join ying chiang, jerome, victor at holland V. It was nice just catching up again, went thai express, then starbucks, then coffee club. Ate muddy mud pie again loh.. sommore yesterday i just ate it with dawn and ben. Feel fat… but my friends say its my frame increase in size. Haha.. thats what friends are for… Hope mortar course still got some exercise if not i’ll die with all the good food at pasir lebar. Miss there…

Got some account at www.spymac.com shld check it out.. 250mb storage, 1 gb mail. hows that man… Well, be trying to post pictures and all but not so soon. I’m feeling so much better today. Sigh. Is a smooth life really a sign of spiritual slacking? Then i think i’m dead loh. Think theres so much turbulence cos all was getting straightened out already. Now there is such a calm. Dunnoe wads in store for all of us, haven’t we come so far? but then again i’m not even halfway through my life.. can’t say so much yet. I think if i died tomorrow i’d have so many loose ends not tied up. Sigh

On a lighter note, i’m going to camp to redo my gundam model. Stupid… all the lines where two parts meet are so obvious.. have to fill them w super glue. then sand it smooth and paint it again. sounds so basic… but ridiculously hard. haha… with each boo boo i learn something new. Well.. you guys can check out this gallery of well painted models over here Well then, i’m going to rest soon… better stop here. Catch you all on sat afternoon if i’m free